grimmdark | Four knitted scarves

Four knitted scarves

916 Bilko Boulevard, Accidental Phonecall. Unfiltered. Open to housemates

*the phone picks up mid-conversation, as if it's been knocked off the hook by clumsy teenagers Rose's voice comes from not too far.*

I still cannot believe we are doing this. Enjoyable as it might be, I must admit I still have some reservations about it.

Rose, I assure you your reservations are wholly misplaced. I have done this many, many times before, and it has ...almost always resulted in the full enjoyment of all involved parties.

*Rose scoffs a little, but wait, was that a hint of a giggle underneat?* I will give that much to you; you are quite skilled with your hands. I stand here jealous at this discovery...this is really nice though.

*There's the sound of shifting, and Kanaya almost sounds as though she has something in her mouth when she speaks next.* Sweeps of practice have rendered my digital manipulators quite dextrous, yes - and I'm quite pleased to hear that you're finding this to your liking. But as promised, no word of this liason shall ever pass my lips.

If I may ask you to hold as still as possible, Rose? This next part will be rather tight.

While I graciously accepted your request to lend myself to your ways, I must admit I haven't grown to like the fact you are handling me like a rag do-

*Rose's complain is cut as she gasps, and then speaks in a rather mortified tone*

That is...rather tight. My back will be reminding me of this with unforgiving soreness later

*And for her part, Kanaya does sound very apologetic.* I'm quite sorry, but I believe it's for the best to handle the worst of the discomfort at the beginning. I give the full weight of my word that it will be exponentially more agreeable - even satisfying - from this point on.

But please continue to hold still. I would feel very displeased with myself were I to inadvertently scratch you.

So you say. Perhaps it's because you are doing all the work. I feel as if I should probably take the matter into my own hands, but then that would mean you would be but an spectator. Either way one of us is left to watch.

*Rose's tone takes a degree of amusement*A scratch? Not for a lack of effort. I've been holding my breath at every "Hold Still" by now.

I would really rather engage with you directly than to be a mere observer of this flourishing radiance and beauty alike. It simply wouldn't be suitable. And besides, you're certainly a participant rather than a spectator, even if it's a far more passive role than you might prefer. I'm afraid I can't allow you to domineer our interactions every time.

But only a little further, and-- *And then there's a surprised intake of air as somebody notices the displaced phone and moves to hang up. Oops.*

*Somebody hasn't seen the phone yet*

Kanaya? Kanaya Mayram, don't you dare leaving me here without taking proper care of my clothes-

*And so ends the rather strange call*

Threaded | Flat

I'm sorry, Rose. But given the nature of my earlier promise, I'm sure you'd rather the entire town not be privy to our conversation here. *Sticking a needle between her lips again to hold.* Or am I incorrect?

Must you two broadcast your depraved interactions to the general public.

[Says the guy who's been eavesdropping with a steadily increasing level of combined mortification and intrigue.]

「Hello! I just thought I'd do the polite thing and thank you two for giving me such a nice memory! I'll be sure to treasure it forever!」

Something smells fishy!

Uhh, Kanaya? Your audio device is off its hook and I fink you might have told the town somefin you didn't want to about your relationship with Rose...

Oh, can I play too?

Oh man.

I remember being that age too well.

Whoa, hey, you know. You should probably hang the phone up before you start getting kinky. Not in the middle of it.

[Listening to this...oh god. They aren't really...this isn't really...]

Kanaya, are you seriously forcing the humans to try on your stupid outfits?

[Holy shit this would be hilarious if it didn't involve Rose wait maybe that makes it more hilarious he's not sure THIS IS REALLY-

Wait. Cool it bro. Gotta be iced like a latte in a college student's grubby hands when they should be studying not out drinking overpriced bean water. After monsters in the closet and already changing the past to save the future, there is no possible way this is actually what it sounds like. That is just the truth of how life works and has nothing to do with a river in Egypt.]

Awesome so were you like, getting a massage or some other innocuous event? Is that what's happening? Can I get one? Does that even work on birds?

[What is this.

What is he hearing as he walks by the door in this house????

He will have none of this foolery going on in his house. Explore your weird interspecies feelings somewhere else.

And that is how Scratch just opens the door without asking at all and-]

Oh.

[Oh.]

Hello ladies.

[This is not awkward in the slightest.]

Threaded | Flat

Action

[Ring ring ring]

Phone

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